make

All I want to do is create things.
I've suffered a severe allergic reaction to hair dye and fallen behind on my work. I don't know how to get back on track. I don't know how to get started because the piles of work are too tall for me to see over. I am in another student film so I don't have weekends to get work done in. All the drugs they have me on make me sleepy, weak and dizzy. Ihave to get my schedule worked out for this january and next semester, I have to start thinking about study abroad. I am not sure how to get where I am trying to go. I crave guidance and I need help but I don't know who to turn to. I can't believe my two best friends are gone. They anchored me, with them around we were going through all this together.
I don't understand how people transition from school to work, I don't know what skills I need to get a job, I don't know what kind of a job I want. I would love to work for a magazine, I would love to do something involving DIY and design. I feel like I need to get started on all of these things right now but I can't find the time with the work I have to do and the depression that weighs on me.
I want a mentor, a role model, an advisor. I don't know where or how to find this person. I want a big sister, someone to fall back on, someone who's advice I can trust.
I feel silly spewing about my small life on the internet. But I don't think that any life is small and this way at least my thoughts are released into the universe.

take

Take me there, take me away
to a little place, a small space
where I can be enclosed, enfolded in your warmth and safety
I can do anything if I have company
I can do anything if I don't have to do it alone.
I feel all the possibilities for different ways life could have gone
slipping by with every second.
Every glance carries a weight
there are voices singing to me and I can't see them
can't reach to their bodies.
I need the physicality of another person,
I need you

long gone

My two best friends at school didn't come back this year. I feel a little lost.
I am so sick of being sad.

Procrastination

Just think of all the things I could have accomplished If I only put them off for half the time I normally do.

memory loss

Sometimes I look back on my previous posts and I don't remember writing them.

I feel so disjointed these days.

The mystical magical sought after being.
The hairy little monster between my legs will eat you up.

Big Hair, Big Lashes

I want to be in a super glam girl band.